Self Love That Does Not Require Overworking for Worthiness
Self love is not always candles and spa days. Sometimes it is sitting with the truth that you’ve been working yourself to exhaustion because somewhere along the line, someone taught you that your value comes from how much you produce.
Many Black women grew up learning to overperform, overgive, overfunction, and overextend as a way to feel worthy. But that cycle is heavy, and eventually it catches up with you.
What This Really Means
Self love begins with seeing yourself as worthy without conditions. It means unlearning the belief that you must earn rest or prove yourself.
Why We Struggle With This
Cultural narratives, childhood dynamics, family expectations, and lived trauma all reinforce the idea that you must always be “on.” When no one ever modeled softness for you, it feels out of reach.
What Healing Looks Like
Taking breaks without apologizing
Letting people help you
Slowing down even when your brain says “hurry”
Choosing nourishing over impressive
A Gentle Reframe
Your worth is not measured by your output.
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